Spanish Joke:

Una mujer cansada e indignada de escuchar discusiones entre su marido y su mamá, le dice al marido:
Por favor negro, hacéme un favor, andá a la casa de mi mamá y hablále bien, intenta acercarte, sólo Dios sabe cuánto tiempo más la tengamos con nosotros.
El marido le responde:
Está bien, gorda, lo voy a hacer, pero que conste que lo hago por vos.
Llega a la casa de su suegra, golpea y ahí se encuentran. El hombre amablemente le dice: Hola suegrita, ¿cómo anda?, ya la estábamos extrañando.
La suegra sorprendida lo mira y le dice:
Bien acá ando, intentando descansar.
Y el hombre pregunta:
Mire suegrita, ¿usted cree en la vida después de la muerte?
Sí, responde la suegra.
Bueno si usted se muriera, Dios no lo permita, ¿en qué animal le gustaría reencarnarse? Mmmmmmmmm, me gustaría en una víbora, le responde la suegra.
Y el hombre dice:
¡Noooo! ¡Pero tiene que ser algo que nunca haya sido!

 

English Translation:

A woman tired and annoyed of listening to bickering between her husband and her mother, tells her husband:
Please, [term of endearment which means "Black"], do me a favor, go to my mother's house and speak well to her, try to get close to her, only God knows how much longer we'll have her with us.
The husband responds:
Fine, [term of endearment which means "Fatty"], I'll do it, but just know that I'm doing it for you.
He gets to his mother-in-law's house, knocks and there they find each other. The man amiably says to her: Hello mother-in-law dearest, how are you? I was starting to miss you.
The mother-in-law, surprised, looks at him and says:
I'm fine, here I am, trying to rest.
And the man asks:
Look, mother-in-law dearest, do you believe in life after death?
Yes, responds the mother-in-law.
Well, if you were to die, God forbid, what animal would you like to be reincarnated as?
Hmmmm, I would like to be a snake, responds the mother-in-law.
And the man says:
Nooo! It has to be something you've never been!

Notes:
* "e" is substituted for "y" (meaning "and") in front of words beginning with the letter i-